The 4 Biggest Mistakes Parents Make When Going Through a Divorce

Young girl looking sad while parents argue because of their divorce

Divorce isn’t only difficult for the couple —if you have children involved, it’s a whole other story.

Divorce and co-parenting children after separation is rarely ever easy. Creating agreements for joint-custody and other parenting arrangements is incredibly important so you can provide your children stability, security and continue to build a relationship even after the split.

However, this process is challenging for everyone, and it can take a toll on your children’s mental health and wellbeing, especially if you’re not taking the proper steps. For this reason, it’s best to work with a credible child custody lawyer to ensure that your children are well-protected and have the best interest during this difficult time.

But even with some guidance from friends and loved ones, some parents still fall short during the divorce process and make some mistakes. Although some errors may seem obvious, you’ll be surprised to know that some people still end up doing these and could affect their children’s behaviour.

Here are some errors that you need to avoid as you continue with caring for your children as divorced parents:


Mistake #1: Making Your Child A Messenger

One of the biggest mistakes parents make is turning their child as their messenger to reach out to the ex. In some cases, parents will occasionally have a short conversation at the door during pick-up or drop-off exchanges with the kids.

Communication with divorced parents is often done through email, phone, and unfortunately, through children. When you’re not in good speaking terms with your ex, it’s often the child that suffers in this narrative.

For this reason, seek out better communication options and avoid putting your children in this situation.


Mistake #2: Creating Unnecessary Battles

In some cases, some divorced parents can’t help but get into unnecessary wars over the phone, text messages, emails, or even in person. When you do this, you’re showing your children that this type of behaviour is okay.

Remember: children need to grow up in a calm and safe environment — away from more drama and chaos. When this happens, try to diffuse the conversation before it turns into a full-blown fight in front of your kids. After a few hours, come back to it in a better headspace and speak to your ex privately.

When a conversation or argument goes out of hand, ensure that you speak to your child custody lawyer immediately and settle with an agreement in a rightful manner and at an appropriate time.


Mistake #3: Speaking Negatively About Your Ex

Another common mistake that divorced parents make is using foul language and talking negatively about their former partner when their children are around.

When your child sees this, they may sometimes project these negative traits towards themselves, and you may unconsciously plant seeds of insecurity, which could affect their confidence and overall wellbeing.


Mistake #4: Thinking Your Children Have No Idea What’s Going On

During a divorce, it’s often the children who are most hurt about the fallout of their parent’s marriage. And in some cases, some children think that it’s their fault.

For this reason, it’s crucial that you communicate with your children about the situation, what’s going on, and what steps you’re taking to ensure that they feel safe and secure.


The Bottom Line: The Divorce Process Is Just As Hard For Your Children As It Is For You

At the end of the day, you want to ensure that your children are loved and cared for. By keeping these mistakes in mind, you’ll be able to take the necessary actions to create a peaceful relationship with your former partner.

Make sure you’re working with a credible child custody lawyer, listen to your children, and take a breath — divorce can be difficult, but you and your children will get through it together.


How Can We Help You?

If you’re looking for a divorce or child custody lawyer in Langley and Surrey to help you with your cases, consult with Dreyer and Associates Family Lawyers LLP.

Our firm is committed to preserving the best interests of families. With an array of experience across family law, wills and estates, and residential conveyancing, we make our clients’ lives much easier as we guide them through the whole legal process.

Call us at 604-539-2103 and learn more about how we can help you today!





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